


We Tried The World, Good God It Wasn't For Us

by Bluejay141519



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: M/M, also hozier, and i aint havin that sadness, and its like three in the morning, because i relate so much, dont mind me, its not my fault, just that hit hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejay141519/pseuds/Bluejay141519
Summary: Dola’s drifting. It’s a soft world, blurry edges and dim light and warm covers. And Jules is there. So that’s nice.





	We Tried The World, Good God It Wasn't For Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hockey_3720](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_3720/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Knock Me Flat On My Back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269365) by [Hockey_3720](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_3720/pseuds/Hockey_3720). 



> Hey, it gets better kid. I promise.

Dola’s drifting. 

 

It’s a soft world, blurry edges and dim light and warm covers. 

 

And Jules is there. So that’s nice.

 

The bed dips, and the sheets and everything shifts, and then there’s a lot of bare skin tucking up against Danny, an affectionate grumble coming from the other man as he shoves Danny over to give himself room to lie down. The down comforter resettles, only they’re tugged up from Dannys hips to cover his chest. Jules settles next to him and Danny rolls over to tuck himself into his side, head pillowed on his shoulder.

 

Jules puts his arm around Danny, thumb slowly rubbing the skin on Danny’s shoulder. Jules is tense, and Danny’s calm floatiness is definitely from taking that much whiskey way to fast, but Danny’s so happy he’s still here. He’s so lucky, he thinks, to get someone this amazing to stay with him. 

 

He gave him an out earlier today. He told Jules he ought to leave him, and he still thinks he was right, but he’s just...so damn glad he didn’t. 

 

“You alright bubs?” Jules asks softly, and Danny mumbles an affirmation, snuggling closer too Jules somehow and tangling his legs with Jules’. 

 

“M sorry.” Danny says into his skin, still dancing on the edge of sleep. “Bout today. You didn need that.”

 

Jules just sighs. 

 

“Danny, it isn’t that I didn’t- like no, I don’t ever want to see you like this, and I wish I could somehow make it all stop and somehow make you see yourself like I do. But please, at the very least, don’t think that this is somehow a chore for me. I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to take your troubles and help you with them, to turn a bad mood into a good one.

 

“You’re worth it, Danny, and I can promise you that. I know how much you’ve worked. I see it, Tom sees it, the whole damn team sees it. I’m so fucking proud of you.” 

 

Danny’s not crying. He’s  _ not. _ There are zero manly tears leaving his eyes right now. 

 

He is, however biting his lip so hard blood is flooding his mouth. 

 

Danny can’t even remember the last time someone told him that. When the last time someone told him it was enough, that  _ he  _ was enough.

 

“You’re everything to me you know?” Jules whispers, and Danny feels his chest get tight with emotion. He sucks in a breath, slow and steady, not ready for the roll of love that happens in his stomach.

 

Because no. Danny doesn’t know - he doesn’t think that he’s anything special, and he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Jules. He tries so hard, he pushes so hard, and even then its like he only manages the honor of standing in someone else’s shadow. He’s not bitter - it just hurts.

 

It hurts to put  _ everything  _ into what you love, to pour your heart and soul out until there’s nothing left and you’ve shown yourself to everyone watching, and then be told its not good enough, to be told that it’s just okay. Because in a way, then it feels like they’re telling  _ you _ that you’re not good enough. That your best and your hardest, that your heart and soul just isn’t up to par. That you just don’t matter like that.

 

It hurts. And unfortunately, Danny's gotten used to it. He knows how to hide it. He knows how to keep it all away from eyes that would revel in his pain, or call him weak for showing it. 

 

But Jules - Jules saw right through that. No one’s ever made him happy like Julian Edelman does. He doesn’t think he deserves him, but he loves him so much for sticking around. And if he’s honest, he doesn’t really know  _ why  _ Jules stays with him. 

 

Danny looks at Jules and wonders who decided that he should get to keep someone as incredible as him. It’s not easy being together - they’re both NFL players, and they play on such a popular team, it’s hard to hide all the time - but Danny would rather hide with Jules for the rest of his life then lose him because of what society thinks is wrong or right.

 

Dola’s throat is way too tight for him to respond, and he’s very sure that even if it wasn’t, the second he’d open his mouth all that would come out is a sob. So he just presses his face into Julians chest, trembles with the effort to keep his emotions in, and hopes to god that Jules gets the message.

 

He does, if the arm tightening around his shoulders and the gently shushing noises are anything to go by. 

 

“I love you so much Julian Edelman.” Danny says eventually, after his body has relaxed and his mind has calmed down. 

 

“I love you too Danny Amendola.”

**Author's Note:**

> Because like, I was sorta crying I related to Dola so much. So I needed some happy. And then like somehow this got a lot heavier than I intended.


End file.
